So…like most bachelors, I hate cleaning the bathroom. One of the tools I use to help me avoid this chore is the toilet tablet, you know, those little tablets you put in your toilet’s water tank that contain cleaning substances and scents. Recently I tried a new brand that advertised itself as the ‘super blue’ tablet,’ and it led to one of those trademark Dave moments. Of course I have to share.

A couple of days after I popped the thing in my toilet’s tank, the toilet bowl water started changing to odd colors and occasionally had chunks of waxy cottage cheese looking material in it. Two nights ago I investigated and found this:

What the hell is growing in there I don’t know – it’s foul looking yet pleasantly scented. But as I was peering in the tank, the candle I keep on the back of the toilet slid into the water with a splash, spattering me and the bathroom walls with the gunk and the deep blue juice the tablet had made of the toilet water.

I flipped. The label on the tablet had warned to keep the thing away from one’s face when opening the package and to avoid skin contact with it. Now I had it all over myself, in some mad-scientist’s congealed cottage cheese form. God only knew what it was going to do to my skin. I dropped everything and stuck my head under the shower faucet to rinse it off. Then I made matters worse. I needed to get the candle out of the tank, so I got a wooden spoon from the kitchen and tried to dredge the candle out of the goop, but I couldn’t seem to fit it past the toilet bobber. In frustration I just forced it, which caused the toilet to start leaking from the hinge on the bobber. I could stop it by holding the bobber on an angle, but left to its own devices the tank was going to overflow. What to do…what to do. Eventually I decided to dash down to the basement to get tools, and I ran back upstairs with toolbox in hand convinced that the toilet would be leaking goop all over the bathroom. Fortunately I made it in time and some almost Fonzie-class fiddling with the bobber made it stop leaking.

All’s well that ends well, 2 days later and I have no shedding of skin or odd rashes, and though I was convinced the blue stuff was going to hopelessly stain the bathroom walls, it came off easily with soap and water. I have to say to my credit that once I’d rinsed myself off, instead of getting mad I just started laughing, the whole situation was just too comical. There is one lesson I’ve learned though – don’t take the blue toilet tablets, they’re toxic 😉

[I have to point out the best Dave moment I’ve captured on the blog – the jalapeno juice incident which is definitely worth a read if you haven’t seen it]