Required ingredients – one lacrosse ball, bonus points if it’s wet and slobbery. One Golden retriever pup, preferably full of piss and vinegar. Procedure – interest dog in ball. Engage in tug of war with dog. Exclaim in horror when dog releases ball suddenly just as you are in mid-tug, causing the ball and your fist to crash forcefully into your face, busting open your lip and causing a bloody nose. Bonus points if dog then jumps in your lap (yum! tasty blood! yay!) and proceeds to lick your face whilst you lounge half senseless from the blow.

Speaking from experience, it’s a sensation not to be missed. Err, to be missed I mean. Oh, and extra bonus points for not losing one’s temper. I couldn’t quite bring myself to laugh due to the pain, but at least I can smile about it now.